i try to imagine a careless life....

I went away but i'm back now. I spent the last week or so up in Marcellus (where josh lives) -->

That picture is really big.. I need to figure out how to fix that..

Anyway... So i've been up in Marcellus, in Syracuse for the last little while, and really it was very nice. I noticed when my plane was landing there that almost immediately i felt less stressed. I knew the airport was going to be small and friendly, and there werent going to be any annoyed travelers freaking out about stuff and shoving me around bc i'm a girl under 5'5". Even the line of cars waiting to pick people up was a less ridiculous process, no one was shouting at you to lightning speed yourself into a car and get the hell out of there... It was a nice start.

Also, he lives in sort of the middle of the woods in his neighborhood. Its very quiet; extremely beautiful and calm. As we drove further from Syracuse into his town of Marcellus i felt anxiety pretty much melt away, and that was nice, and also indicative that i need to not spend much more time on LI, bc its crazy, and people are crazy, and for the most part want other people dead.

We did a butt ton of stuff, which might surprise you. Whats there to do in Marcellus, its upstate so obviously that means its in the middle of nothing, right? No! We did lots of things, mini golf, went out to eat like 40 times, the zoo, a science and technology museum, went swimming, got icecream, went to the movies-- all really fun things. We hung out with his sister and bro-in-law a few times, who are both extremely nice, and watched their twin babies a few times (who are extremely adorable, can't get enough of them)

On sunday was Lea's wedding which was unbelievably beautiful. She is one of the most amazing people i've ever met, and Ari is so perfect for her, and they are going to have an incredible life. They are certainly a force to look up to, and it really made me re evaluate some things. I love them. haha

All in all, it was a great time, and coming back to LI made me realize that while its busier here, that doesnt necessarily mean its the superior place to live.

Anyway, the CD is now organized and i've even made a copy of it already for Josh, and will take more requests for them if anyone wants. Even though its totally finished i still want to talk about the tracks. Before i do though, i want to talk about a new dream job of mine.

Along with being in a movie score choir (like those that sing in movies such as Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter..epic crazy shit) and choosing the soundtracks for awesome TV shows (Like weeds, dexter, and six feet under) i've thought of something else that would be awesome.

So, what if i advertised myself as a professional personal mix CD maker? i know it sounds ridiculous but hear me out. So a client calls me up in need of a new mix CD for varying reasons. Perhaps a breakup, or a change of lifestyle, or location. They just need a CD to get them through it. BUT, they are no good at finding new music and bands and stuff. SO we get together, and they tell me everything thats going on in their life right now. Anything thats been affecting them, or motivating them-- everything. Then we speak about music likes and dislikes. Then, i go home and construct a personalized Mix CD for them. Wouldn't that be cool!? I'm thinking about trying to make it work, but idk how i would do that.

***Well anyway. The 3rd track on my CD is "Scenic World" by Beirut from the Lon Gisland EP. I've been listening to this band since the spring of 09 when a friend of mine put the video for "Postcards from Italy" on her facebook wall. It was a beautiful song, and i really fell in love with it. Since then i've been obsessed. There is an awesome accordian type instrument playing in the beginning, and it really sets the flow for the song. I found this song on Weeds.

Here are the lyrics

The lights go on
The lights go off
When things don't feel right
I lie down like a tired dog
Licking his wounds in the shade

When I feel alive
I try to imagine a careless life
A scenic world where the sunsets are all
Breathtaking


This song to me really just signifies my trying to make sense of things, and trying to let go. "The lights go on, the lights go off" makes me think of the things in life i irrationally obsess over. They are never really good things, always silly unnecessary things that i need to get out of my mind. I'm only hurting myself with my senseless "thought attacks" at night that only makes my fears more irrational. The next verse is something that i really long for, a life where i'm not worried whether or not people will die the next time they travel, or worried how my whole entire life is going to play out. I wish i could live day to day and appreciate each sunset for what it is without thinking about tomorrow, and whether there will be another one or not.

Please take a listen, and while you're at it, poke around YouTube at the other songs such as "Postcards from Italy" and "Sunday Smile." These songs are really refreshing in a great way, and changed a lot of things about how i think of music. <3

Beirut, "Scenic World"